How counselling may help 

• Anxiety and stress

• Depression

• Low self-esteem

• Bereavement and loss

• Parenting worries

• Family and relationship problems

• Being a carer

• Identity issues

• Life transitions

• Health problems

My approach

My approach to therapy is both integrative and relational. Being “integrative” means that I draw on different therapeutic ideas in responding to your needs. My approach is “relational” in that I focus on the relationship I build with each client. Sometimes I might remind you of someone else in your life. Although this might feel disconcerting at first, it can also be very helpful in allowing us to explore what might be going on in relationships outside therapy.

Relationships are often at the heart of whatever brings a person to therapy. We are formed in relationships, and we need them for our emotional survival. Whilst we may have some of our greatest happiness through our relationships, we can also experience deep despair and loneliness.

Relationships with others - and with yourself

Relationship difficulties can arise in any setting - with a partner, in the family, with friends and peers, and at work. Times of transition can be particularly challenging - such as the beginning or end of a relationship, becoming a parent or grandparent, going through the menopause, changing job, being made redundant, or negotiating retirement.

You may feel as if you are meeting a part of yourself which was previously hidden. This might feel unsettling, but perhaps you are also curious to know more about this side of yourself, and to foster its growth. You might want to to take stock of your life and think about how others see you, and how you communicate with those closest to you. All of these themes can be addressed in counselling and psychotherapy.

The many faces of anxiety

Sometimes you might be aware that you are under stress at work or in your home-life, or notice that you feel constantly worried about specific issues. You might also feel jittery and on edge in a more general way, without knowing the reason. There can be highly unpleasant physical sensations when you experience anxiety - pounding heart, a nasty taste in your mouth, “butterflies” in your stomach, and feeling hot and sweaty.

It can be helpful to understand what might be going on in your body at such times, and to explore the links with your thoughts and emotions. For instance, people sometimes experience “intrusive thoughts” - distressing ideas and images which seem to float into your mind out of nowhere. “Rumination” is another common process in anxiety - when we repeatedly go over whatever is causing worry without ever feeling that we find a satisfactory solution.

By identifying these kinds of patterns together, we may be able to develop strategies for managing distressing emotional experience. We might also look at the history of your anxiety, such as any worries and pressures you experienced as a child.

Depression and loss

The experience of pervasive feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and negativity is profoundly distressing. You may feel lacking in motivation, and struggle to find meaning in your life. Sometimes specific patterns of thinking help to maintain depression. We might work on identifying your characteristic responses to events, other people, and your own thoughts.

It could be helpful to explore your experience of yourself in relationships, both in the past, and in your present life, while also looking at your relationship with yourself. Perhaps you are deeply self-critical and tend to blame yourself for whatever feels negative in your life. This may lower your self-esteem, which in turn helps to maintain your depression. We might explore the possibility of a different relationship with yourself, based on self-acceptance and compassion.

It can also be helpful to address specific experiences of loss. This could be a bereavement, but there are many other forms of loss, including the loss of identity when you experience change in your life. There may be losses which are difficult to name but which still need to be mourned.